Irrationality
by mikkimikka
Summary: Eiichi x Nagi, a story in 3 parts. One part for each HEAVENS member on the validity of the relationship
1. Chapter 1

Irrationality, a Eiichi/Nagi

Author: cutiexnagi (tumblr), mikkimikka (ff)  
Rating: R or NC-17  
Pairing: Eiichi x Nagi  
Summary: Eiichi feels really guilty about it but he can't let Nagi go.

* * *

Part 1 - Eiichi

"Never have I ever fallen in love."

Because love was irrational and he had his life planned out anyway. Or so he thought.

Ootori Eiichi was going to hell. Really, regardless of anything else this shouldn't be happening but it was.

No matter how much Nagi claimed to want it. No matter how wide he spread his thighs or how vocal his pleas for more were, the fact remained that he couldn't consent.

Eiichi was an adult, 10 years older at that, and he allowed himself to submit. With each thrust he tried to black out his mind but he couldn't. The body was so small but without the curves of a woman. Wherever his hands roamed he could think of nothing but the boy underneath him. His scent was the only thing to reach Eiichi's nose His face and body the only thing he could see.

It was the best feeling in the world physically but the guilt was overwhelming. As he crashed from his high and buried his face in Nagi's shoulder he couldn't think anything but "Yes, this is it!" and "this is so wrong" simultaneously.

"Eiichi?" Nagi asked when the other still hadn't moved.

He nudged Eiichi's shoulder to get the other's weight off of him. Eiichi pulled back, a bit dazed and fazed upon the beautiful flushed body spread before him. He had been rushed, so wired from adrenaline and need that he hadn't paid any attention to what the boy wanted (or didn't want).

Nagi was stil hard and Eiichi felt ashamed for leaving the boy like that after what was his first time. He reached down, nudging Nagi's thighs apart and plunging two fingers into Nagi's moist hole, moving in and out.

"Stop, it feels weird," Nagi said, obviously very sensitive from the previous round, but he still parted his legs further, holding his own thighs.

Eiichi continued his movements, letting his lips land on the soft skinny thighs and then sucking on them lightly. Nagi mewled when Eiichi wrapped his hand around his erection, bucking up into it.

"So this is the advantage of a young partner," Eiichi thought dangerously as his face moved down to lap at Nagi's hole after having pulled his fingers away.

The act was so deplorable and erotic that Eiichi could already feel himself getting hard again and as Nagi was coming Eiichi backed away from the youth so he could roll him onto his stomach before plunging his now revived shaft in. Nagi's fingers clenched at the sheets.

"No," he gasped and Eiichi stopped without pulling out.

"'No' what?" Eiichi asked.

Nagi reached behind him and pushed back on Eiichi's pelvis.

"It hurts," he whined.

Eiichi sighed and pulled out letting Nagi's bottom half drop against the mattress. He supposed enough was enough. Nagi hadn't complained at all the first round but perhaps twice in a row was a bit much. He reclined beside Nagi and pulled him close for a spoon. Nagi didn't react aversely despite Eiichi's erection pressing against his back.

Eiichi was so dazed that the guilt was reduced to a background hum in his brain as he lay there. He let his hand trail across Nagi's smooth thighs and stomach.

"You feel so good," Eiichi whispered in his ear. "Even better than I could imagine."

He leaned over and pulled Nagi's face close for a kiss.

"I'm tired," Nagi whined when Eiichi let his mouth go.

"Sleep then, squirt," Eiichi replied fondly.

He reached down and pulled the sheets they kicked off over Nagi's shoulders. He waited until Nagi fell asleep before getting out of the bed and heading for the shower.

Eiichi let the hot water run over him. He knew it wouldn't was away the wrong that he had done. He also knew that if Nagi was willing he wouldn't stop. It felt so good and even if he knew it was wrong he also felt it somewhere in his heart.

He was utterly irresponsible letting himself fall like that. Even Kira would have been better and yet it didn't happen that way. The longer they spent time together the more he felt it. At first Nagi was just some cute little kid and he still was, but these weren't the proper feelings for some cute kid. No.

If Eiichi found one fan girl his age that thought half the way about Nagi as he did he'd be outraged. Yet, he couldn't stop himself.

Nagi's smiles shot right through him. His laugh was like the tinkling of bells. When he started telling one of his jokes the way his face lit up sent a fire into Eiichi's soul. There was the Nagi on stage and the Nagi at home. Both were precious. Eiichi cherishes though those quiet moments in Kira and Eiichi's dorm when he can see Nagi sprawled on the floor with a pillow working on some homework.

Eiichi turned off the water. That's right, Kira and Nagi's dorm. As the son of Raging Ootori, Eiichi had his own place but Kira and Nagi shared. As he dried off he debate between sending Kira a message to say Nagi fell asleep at his house or just taking him home.

Toweling off his hair he entered the room still naked and smiled to see Nagi in a similar state. The young teen had kicked off the sheets and was sprawled on his stomach still dozing.

Eiichi sat on the edge of the bed and leaned over to stroke Nagi's cheek. The boy's face was like soft smooth silk. He leaned further and kissed his cheek. Nagi still didn't stir. Eiichi smiled a softer expression than his usual smirk. Well, if the kid didn't want to wake then he wouldn't bother him.

He got up and pulled a pair of sweat pants on then checked his phone. There was a LINE message from Kira.

"Can't contact Nagi. Is he with you?"

It was sent about an hour ago. Eiichi typed his reply and pressed send.

"Don't worry. He's with me."

The reply was immediate, "Will you bring him back soon? He has school tomorrow."

Eiichi frowned. Since when was Kira such a mother? Despite the fact he knew Kira could see that he'd read it Eiichi set his phone down and moved to school Nagi back into his arms.

He knew he was being clingy but really couldn't help it. The boy was so cute and had finally, at least the once, became his. Nagi squirmed a bit and Eiichi loosened his hold.

"Eiichi," the boy murmured, eyes fluttering open.

"Yeah? Kira's wondering what time you'll be back."

Eiichi didn't know why but he definitely felt Nagi stiffen at the mention of their other member.

"Kira can go kick rocks," huffed Nagi.

Eiichi chuckled, pulling Nagi closer.

"You didn't fight with Kira did you?"

Nagi turned in Eiichi's arms so they were face to face and also giving his leader the full effect of his pout.

"He treats me like a kid."

Eiichi had to swallow the urge to tell Nagi that he was.

"But you don't," Nagi reached up and ran his fingers over Eiichi's collar bone. "Hey Eiichi?"

"Hmm?"

"If you want to do it again I don't mind. I think I rested enough."

"Really?" Eiichi's voice shook more than he's like it to.

Nagi nodded, rolled on his back and spread his legs. The way he did it so bluntly betrayed his inexperience, but it was exactly what made Eiichi want him more. He set himself into the space between Nagi's legs and began to kiss the boy senseless. Nagi's hands were pulling down his sweatpants so Eiichi paused to help kick them off.

Within moments Eiichi sheathed himself within Nagi's tight heat. He moaned as he rolled his hips and looked down at Nagi beneath him. The boy's eyes were squeezed shut and he was biting on his lower lip. Eiichi griped Nagi's hips and began to move faster causing Nagi's mouth to fall open with a gasp

Eiichi felt as if in a trance. He wanted nothing more than to stay in that moment and watch Nagi's face as he fucked him. Nagi moved to drape his arms over Eiichi's shoulders and gazed up at him with an intense flushed face.

"You're so cute," Eiichi said..

He really wanted to weep. It was just so good.

It was then that his phone began to chime. It was a phone call through LINE.

'Fucking Kira,' Eiichi cursed in his mind but refused to stop his rhythm.

He let it keep ringing and looked down at Nagi's mostly flaccid cock.

'Is he not enjoying this?' he thought as he reached down to stroke it.

It got hard quickly and he continued to stroke it, pausing all of his other movements. Nagi soon was panting and then he came, his whole body arching sharply and then relaxing into near mush.

'Yes, yes like that!' Eiichi thought as he watched him and then resumed his thrusts and followed quickly with an orgasm of his own.

The phone chimed again and Eiichi snatched it from where it sat cradled in the sheets as he pulled out.

"What?" he asked, a bit out of breath.

He looked over at Nagi who had curled onto his side with his back towards him.

"Nagi's here let him sleep.. No, I don't plan to take him to school. You know I have schedules in the morning."

"Kira?" Nagi turned his body and sent Eiichi a questioning look.

Eiichi nodded but continued speaking into the receiver.

"Fine. I don't see why you care so much about the brat but whatever."

"You should shower and dress," Eiichi said, ending the call and throwing the phone on a pillow.

"I'm going hom?"

"Yeah."

"But I wanna stay here with you," protested Nagi.

"Well too bad," Eiichi replied, though really he wanted it too so they could live out the rest of the night on some pretend honeymoon.

Nagi slid out of bed and disappeared to the connecting bathroom.

Eiichi flopped backwards in the bed, figuring he'd dress once Nagi got out. His mind reviewed the events of the past few hours and the past few weeks. Was Nagi being taken advantage of? Was the predator him? Eiichi knew about the dangers of showbiz though and rationalized it.

'It's better me and not one of those old creepy producers.'

He knew the type. He's seen some other idols go through it though being the son of Raging himself he was saved the burden of experiencing it on his own. They traded fame for sexual favors and in this industry people were starved for it. But Nagi wasn't ruined like that. Eiichi would see to it. He's take care of him the way he needed.

Frustrated, Eiichi ran his fingers through his hair. He was in so deep.

Nagi skipped out of the bathroom, hair dripping wet all over the floors and began to dress.

"You have to blow dry your hair," Eiichi instructed.

"Why? I'm just going home."

"Exactly. We don't want Kira to think you bathed here."

"Why not? If he doesn't know he'll just make me shower again."

Eiichi sighed. Nagi didn't understand and he didn't know how to push him to it. But he'd already slept with him and if he's old enough to sleep with he should be old enough to help cover his tracks.

"You know," Eiichi began. "No one can know about this."

"Hmmm?"

"About us. About what we did," clarified Eiichi.

"Oh, I know. Even though I'm totally mature so it shouldn't be a problem," Nagi replied.

"Umm… I meant it. Not even Kira can know."

Nagi got up and went to the bathroom where he began blow drying his hair. After a minute Eiichi followed.

"Why do you react like that when I mention Kira?"

"What?" Nagi turned off the blow dryer and Eiichi repeated his question.

"Well, Kira's one of us so I think he should know."

"One of us?"

"Group mate," Nagi said.

"OK," Eiichi began. "So then what are you and I outside of just group mates?"

"Boyfriends of course since we did it," Nagi replied simply and turned the dryer back on to resume work on his hair.

As much as Eiichi was glad to know they were official, he still wasn't convinced about letting Kira know.

Eiichi learned against the door frame until Nagi finished and then stepped back to let him out.

Nagi picked up his bag and looked at Eiichi.

"Well? Aren't you getting dressed?"

Eiichi nodded and Nagi rolled his eyes and went to wait in the living room. Eiichi dressed and soon they were in his car driving back to Nagi's dorm. It was silent, which was strange for Nagi and Eiichi began to feel guilt creep back up again.

"Are you OK?"

"Hmm?"

"You're so quiet."

"Yeah, I'm just tired," Nagi replied with a smile.

Eiichi wondered if he should press it. After schedules sometimes Nagi was so tired that he'd sleep anywhere his body landed.

"I hope you're not mad about me sending you home."

Eiichi mentally smacked himself as soon as the words left his mouth. That was not the way he normally spoke to Nagi. He usually tried to keep it authoritative. He was after all the adult, but now lines were so damn blurred.

"I'm not mad," Nagi replied, seeming to not notice anything strange. "Besides, I know I should go anyway since I have school and all."

"Yeah, you rarely have time to go as it is."

"You're so lucky all you have to do is work. You don't have to go to school."

"Yeah but I work more than you because of it."

"You work tomorrow too, right? Even before school starts."

Eiichi nodded and on top of early schedules he often worked late as well. Because of Nagi's age he wasn't allowed to appear on TV after 10pm which also freed the boy's schedule quite a bit. Eiichi felt it was probably the worst for Kira who had to balance university with a schedule almost as full as Eiichi's was.

They made it to the apartment complex and Eiichi parked where he could. Because of Nagi's age the dorm situation worked well for him. But it was a rarity seeing Japanese idols dorming together and most agencies didn't bother.

The place was secure and located on the 9th floor. Using Nagi's key card they entered and found the place dark. Nagi switched on the light.

"Kira! I'm home!" he called, stepping in.

The only answer was the sound of the shower running.

"Ah, he's in the shower. It'll probably take him forever then," Nagi commented. "Why'd you follow me up anyway? I know my way in to my own house."

Eiichi wondered the same thing and yet there he was. He grabbed Nagi by the waist and pulled him flush against him and when Nagi gasped in surprise Eiichi bent down to steal a Kiss. Nagi's arms flew up around his shoulders.

"You're so horney," Nagi admonished when they pulled away.

"Do you even know what that means?"

"Well if I didn't I do now, thanks to you."

Eiichi pushed Nagi against the wall and kissed his neck.

"Is this why you followed me in?"

"Maybe," Eiichi replied, lapping at Nagi's skin.

Nagi let his head fall back and Eiichi bit lightly at his throat.

"Fuck I could take you right now," Eiichi growled.

He hoisted Nagi up over his shoulder and marched deeper into the house. He threw open the door to Nagi's room and flipped on the lights scanning the area. Nagi's bed was not made; his blanket and pillow were haphazardly thrown around as well as the stuffed animals he still slept with. Everything was obnoxiously space themed and it was so juvenile Eiichi had to bite down his scoff.

He deposited Nagi onto the bed of pillows and plushies and then joined him. He was addicted and he only wanted Nagi to be addicted too. He moved down, tracing his finger along the inside of Nagi's clothed thigh. He nuzzled the boy's crotch and kissed at the fabric.

"Does it feel as good for you as it does for me?" he asked breathily.

"I don't know."

Nagi's answers were always so curt and even this situation didn't change that. Of course he didn't know. Eiichi sat up, leaning his back against the wall and running fingers through his hair and adjusting his glasses.

He wanted to ask so many questions like why him? What did he see? Not that Eiichi didn't consider himself to be a catch but for a 13 year old boy he didn't think he'd fit that standard. Plus he was afraid the boy would regret it, realize it was a mistake and he was being taken advantage of. And wasn't youth known for being fickle? What if Nagi lost interest? Maybe this was just for fun. How was Eiichi to confirm it wasn't? There was no way to confirm anything. Everything from his feelings to his consent were dubious.

And Eiichi had never been in love before but damn hanging out with this kid was making him wonder. There was nothing really innocent about any child in the entertainment industry but they were still children nonetheless. There were many times in a day when Eiichi's heart and stomach would flutter at some cute thing Nagi would do. Nagi was smart, he could keep up very well, but maybe not so wise. He made bad decisions often and getting involved with Eiichi would be another one of them.

Nagi said up and grabbed Eiichi's hand. Eiichi liked the feeling of it.

"I was really happy when you said you liked me," Nagi smiled. "I'm really happy right now too."

He beamed that beautiful cute smile and Eiichi's heart felt like mush within his chest.

"I'm glad I met you."

And in that moment it felt worth it.

-part 1 end-

AN: it says end but it's gonna be a threeshot. reviews would be lovely!


	2. Chapter 2

Irrationality, an Eiichi/Nagi fic

_**Irrationality (2/3)**_  
Author: cutiexnagi (tumblr), mikkimikka (ff)  
Rating: R or NC-17  
Pairing: Eiichi x Nagi  
Summary: Nagi wonders what Eiichi really wants from him

Part 2 – Nagi

Mikado Nagi was finally acknowledged as an adult and that was good. He wasn't stupid. He'd seen porn and touched himself before. Most boys his age these days did it. He knew sex was supposed to feel good and the more he did it with Eiichi the more it did.

H wasn't averse to the sex. It was interesting and his body enjoyed it. Though he initially did it because it thrilled him to be wanted in that adult way and that he was adult enough to handle it. He reveled in the way Eiichi slowly began to change. He wasn't being talked down to anymore; they were more like equals. When they walked together (for Nagi more like skipped) Eiichi slowed his pace not because he didn't want to have Nagi "get into trouble" but rather because he just wanted to be beside him.

It was little things like that Nagi especially liked and he was glad he choose Eiichi to become and adult with and that Eiichi chose him. The thing was, what was the use of becoming an adult if only one person saw you as one. As valued as Eiichi's opinion was, it didn't mean the world.

In reality there was much more needed to be done to reach validation and he couldn't figure out how to rush it. Because yes Nagi was aware of the fact he was 13 and normally 13 year olds were still kids but Nagi felt himself to be an exception. He was a mature and responsible working person and miles above the others in his age range.

And he had a superhot older guy boyfriend. That definitely put him ahead.

But no matter how Nagi felt, their relationship was risky and Eiichi wouldn't stop reminding him of that. Even when Eiichi was being as risky as he was. Dropping hints off in magazine articles about how special Nagi was to him as one thing but stolen kisses in the hallway was another.

Nagi didn't mind though. He didn't really want to hide it. He knew that Eiichi was completely against anyone including Kira knowing. But Nagi felt wouldn't the world knowing just help them see for themselves how grown up he'd become.

Eiichi's hold on Nagi's waist tightened. It wasn't the most practical position to do homework in. Nagi was seated on Eiichi's lap in front of the kotatsu but it was comfortable so neither made the effort to move. As Nagi worked Eiichi relaxed and watched television.

It was some variety show with Ranmaru of Quartet Night being set on a fake blind date with a female idol. Ranmaru was the type of idol who was pretty interesting to see on variety. He wasn't annoying like Reiji, bland like Ai or overwhelmingly fake like Camus. Nagi figured Eiichi would do the best from his team on those kinds of shows. Kira had no camera sense sometimes and Nagi had to admit to himself he had very little idea about romance.

"Aren't you supposed to be doing your homework?" Eiichi asked, having must noticed the boy on his lap more focused on the television than his notebook.

"You're the one watching it when you know I'm working!" Nagi pouted.

Nagi's pout remained even as Eiichi hugged him tighter and nuzzled into the space between his neck and shoulder. It was then that Kira returned to the apartment. He kicked off his shoes and entered the living area. If he was surprised to see Eiichi he didn't show it.

"Welcome home," Nagi said.

And Eiichi greeted too but made no move to change positions. It was exactly that kind of behavior that convinced Nagi that maybe just a bit Eiichi wanted people to know about them.

"Did you already eat dinner?" asked Nagi. "There is still rice in the cooker and I just opened new furikake."

"I'm fine," Kira said.

He moved to the kotatsu and flopped down glancing at the TV.

It wasn't until Eiichi was out the door an hour later that Kira spoke again. Nagi had comeback from seeing Eiichi off and Kira was regarding him curiously. Nagi's senses tingled beneath his gaze. Did Kira know his secret? Was he aware of what it all meant?

He wanted to tell him so badly but knew he couldn't just blurt it.

"Was Eiichi helpful?"

"Huh?"

"With your homework."

Nagi nodded, "Yeah. He helped a lot! Maybe even better than you!"

Kira looked skeptical.

"I'm going to bed."

Nagi leapt up and all but ran into his room. Once in he dived under his blankets, knocking aside some of his stuffed animals in the process.

What was he supposed to compare his situation to? He'd seen movies and watched dramas but nothing about 13 year old boys with 23 year old guys. Nagi pulled out his phone and opened LINE and seeing the last message in him and Eiichi's chat was a stamp from Nagi. It was the rabbit, Cony, hugging the bear Brown.

Nagi sent an angry Cony which Eiichi replied automatically with James blowing hearts and then another with James holding beer.

"Are you drinking?"

"Out with friends, yeah."

"You left me here all along to drinking with friends?!"

"Hurry up and turn 20."

"Fuck you!"

Eiichi replied with a laughing Moon.

"I'd love to but Kira's there…"

Nagi tossed his phone to the side. He wasn't in the mood for the bullshit even from his boyfriend. Eiichi and he did do couple things like go to the aquarium or get food when they had time which was super rare. Most of the time thought they stayed in the house which was also fine but all Eiichi ever wanted to do was have sex.

Nagi liked sex. It was fine. But he also would like to rent movies or play video games sometimes too. The only reason they hadn't fucked that day was because of Nagi's mountain of homework, though Nagi wagered if Eiichi had his way he'd do Nagi while he did his homework.

That last message was further proof of Eiichi's one track mind. Did he only think about doing it? Was that the reason he wanted to be together with Nagi?

It started to get to the point where Eiichi only benefited from the relationship and Nagi didn't. Nagi liked Eiichi, he liked being treated like an adult by Eiichi and he didn't want to lose their special relationship. However, he otherwise gained nothing.

Eiichi wouldn't let him even tell Kira who was basically like an older brother and best friend. Nor did anyone else yet see him as an adult no matter how Eiichi treated him.

But Eiichi just seemed so happy. He didn't want to tell anyone, he got to fuck on demand, and still lead on an outwardly single lifestyle. He still went out to drink and party with friends, flirted shamelessly with most girls, not just their fans, and joke loudly about how he's too busy and/or perfect to fall in love.

All of that right in Nagi's face. It was enough to drive anyone mad.

His phone chimed again.

"How about I come back later?"

"Kira's here."

"We'll be quiet."

Nagi rolled his eyes again not even bothering to reply. He buried himself inside his blankets and fell asleep.

A few hours later Nagi found himself being awakened from his sleep by what was obviously Eiichi. He smelled heavily of smoke and his breathe of beer. Nagi wrinkled his nose.

"Go away," he cried sleepily as Eiichi cuddled into his back. The buckles of Eiichi's leather jacket pressed roughly into his back through his thin pajamas.

"No, I missed my Nagi," Eiichi replied.

Nagi sighed and closed his eyes as he felt Eiichi's hands began to move around and explore his body. Eiichi's lips roamed along his cheeks, jaw and neck. Nagi whimpered as a nipple was pinched and lifted his hips to allow Eiichi to pull off his pajamas. He kicked his pajama pants and the sheets off and turned to face Eiichi, leaning in to kiss him.

It was hot and frantic. Eiichi was not drunk. Nagi had had drunk sex him before and it was not fun. Rather he had a pleasant buzz that was nearly worn off. Nagi wasn't allowed to drink even just a little because of his image. Underage idols risked loss of contract if they did but Nagi was all too familiar with the taste of Suntory and Asahi.

He sat up straddling Eiichi and grinding his hips down on the other's lap. Eiichi bucked up against him and tightened his grip on Nagi's bare hips.

"Why did you even come back?"

"I needed to see you," Eiichi said, running a hand up Nagi's pale body and letting ti come to rest on the other's cheek.

What did that even mean? Nagi had a vague idea especially when he leaned forward and began to feel Eiichi's fingers teasing his ass. He closed his eyes as the finger pressed gently into him.

"Baby," Eiichi's voice was raspy against his hair. "Baby."

He wrapped one arm around Nagi's shoulders and held him close to his chest as he pressed the finger deeper in.

The finger withdrew and Eiichi let go to dig out the lube from his jacket pocket. Soon the fingers returned to probing him though this time cold and slick. Nagi shivered. He hated the feeling of cold lube and buried his face in Eiichi's chest as he gasped.

Eiichi sat up and let Nagi fall to the side onto the bed. Nagi let his legs get pulled up and over Eiichi's shoulder and moaned as Eiichi's other hand, also cold and wet with lube encircled his cock. Nagi focused on the feeling of Eiichi in those two places. His ass and cock were receiving equal attention and his toes curled at the pleasure.

As he neared his peak the urge to cry out grew so strong. He reached up, grasping and pulling at the pillow he lay on before finally settling on turning his head and muffling his cry into the back of a stuffed monkey as he came.

Breathing hard Nagi turned his head again to look at Eiichi. In the dark he could make out the outlines and shapes that made up his partner but not the details of his face. Nagi reached up, sated and happy, pulling Eiichi's head down for a kiss. His fingers ran along his face, up towards his ear where they knocked against his glasses. Nagi began to smile into the kiss when his hands reached Eiichi's hair.

"You're so horny."

"Only for you," Eiichi replied.

Nagi just chuckled and kissed Eiichi once more before letting go and laying back against the bed again. He knew Eiichi wasn't finished after all. Eiichi's slick fingers played and rubbed at Nagi's nipples for a bit longer than usual and Nagi squirmed.

"Eiichi?"

"Sorry, got lost in a moment there."

"Take off your clothes. You'll mess up your jeans," Nagi admonished.

Nagi watched as Eiichi did as told and returned to the bed taking the time to reposition Nagi so he was on his knees and his ass pointed up in the air. Nagi actually hated that position. He always had but Eiichi seemed to enjoy it. Nagi thought it was uncomfortable. Another he didn't like was when he straddled and rode on top of Eiichi. It was easy for Eiichi to fit in that way but Nagi found it hard to move steadily. Instead Nagi preferred to lie on his back.

There was also the size matter. Nagi didn't know why it had to be him to receive Eiichi when it made more sense in his mind that Nagi be the one to do it. He was smaller and therefore it'd be more comfortable of a fit. Plus the weight of his body would be no problem for Eiichi either. But Nagi did whatever Eiichi wanted when it came to their sex life.

Soon Eiichi was pushing in and Nagi bit the pillow to keep from gasping loudly. Eiichi began to move keeping a steady rhythm behind. Nagi tried to keep his mind from wandering but ultimately failed because he couldn't help but worry about Kira. Although it wasn't the first time he and Eiichi had sex in the dorm it was the first time Kira had actually been home too. Also, as much as Nagi wanted Kira to know about their relationship he didn't want him to learn about it like this.

It was far from the ideal scenario.

Nagi's body was completely relaxed and wet from sweat and he could tell Eiichi was too from the way his hands felt against his body. He turned his head in order the breathe a little better and as Eiichi resumed playing with his nipples Nagi reached down to fondle his own cock. He wanted to come again. Coming was always good even if sometimes there was discomfort. Eiichi's hands shifted, grasping back at his hips and began to slam in even harder.

"Ah, no," Nagi gasped a little too loudly and his hand let go of his cock to grasp again at his pillow and bury his head into it.

He didn't mean to say no. It had just come out but as usual Eiichi's movements stopped, though he made no move to pull out.

"Too rough?" Eiichi asked leaning forward so that his chest was pressed to Nagi's back.

"Too good," Nagi clarified, raising his head a bit and moving his ass forward and back.

Eiichi began to move his hips again.

"It feels good for me too, Baby."

He pulled out and rolled Nagi onto his back.

"Don't call me that while fucking me," Nagi glared.

"Why not? It's cute," Eichi said pressing the fronts of their bodies together. "Like you."

Nagi didn't answer and focused on Eiichi's cock slipping back in. He lifted his legs and Eiichi grabbed his thighs to push them up. The small noises spilling from Nagi's mouth escalated and both realized maybe the other position was better for volume. Too late though. Nagi pulled his stuffed monkey close, holding it against his flush face as Eiichi sped up again, ramming into his small fame mercilessly. Nagi could feel himself so close. His eyes clenched as he was about to come for the second time. His head was pressed against the stuffed toy but Eiichi ripped it away, throwing it aside, and leaned down to capture Nagi's mouth in a kiss. Nagi couldn't hold back as he came. He couldn't return Eiichi's kiss as he shuddered through his climax. Finally, Eiichi pulled his mouth away and bending Nagi even further thrust quickly until he came.

When he did he let go letting Nagi's limbs fall on either side of him. He pulled out but not away as he nuzzled his face in Nagi's neck.

"I love you."

It was a murmur but clear and Nagi tensed as Eiichi finally rolled off and away. Nagi sat up, stroking fingers through his hair, damp with sweat. He looked and saw Eiichi lying there on his back, chest heaving with labored panting breath.

"Come. Lay back down with me," Eiichi said, pulling on Nagi's arm.

Nagi shook him off.

"No. You're sweaty. It's gross."

"Suit yourself."

Eichi folded his arms behind his head and closed his eyes. Nagi watched him by the moonlight a plethora of different and strange feelings coming over him. Eiichi looked so relaxed and he was probably going to fall into a deep sleep had not Nagi began speaking.

"Why did you say that?"

Eiichi lazily opened his eyes, "Say what?"

"That you love me."

Eiichi held Nagi's gaze. Nagi supposed he was thinking but he didn't answer.

"All we ever do is have sex anyway. Is that the reason you love me?"

That got a reaction from Eiichi. He sat up quickly as if stunned.

"Wait. You think I only want to have sex with you?"

"Isn't that what I just said?" Nagi pouted with a glare.

"Yeah but… Nagi, the reason I want to have sex with you is because I love you," Eiichi laughed incredulously. "How could you even think otherwise?"

"Maybe because you never actually told me why you like me or anything before fucking me," Nagi snapped.

"N,Nagi," Eiichi sounded guilty and wounded and Nagi felt bad for snapping at him.

He accused Eiichi of only wanting sex when Nagi himself wasn't sure of his feelings. He basically started dating Eiichi because he liked the attention. He wasn't far sighted about it at all. Nagi was selfish and spoiled. He rarely admitted it but he did know. That was probably why he was able to attack Eiichi like that even without knowing his own feelings.

"Nagi… I admit I have had sex with other people before but I've never wanted them as much as I want you. You drive me a bit mad. I think of you nearly every waking minute of my day. Even if I can't have sex with you just being near you is OK but when we're alone I can't hold back. I like you so much!"

Eiichi sat up and patted Nagi' head.

"If you don't want to have sex, if you want to do something else, just tell me. I swear we can do whatever you like. I have to apologize I wasn't so considerate of your feelings."

Nagi listened, feeling a little warmth seeping into his chest at Eiichi's words.

"But," he chewed on his lip in thought. "Why me?"

"You're… you're you. Nagi. How can I even explain this? I feel like an idiot."

Nagi's eyes widened, seeing a new side of Eiichi. He'd never seen him flustered before, not even when he first told Nagi his feelings. He had always been so confident and proud. Actually those were two of the traits Nagi admired about him so much.

"I suppose I should level with you… We're supposed to be in a relationship right?" Eiichi looked sheepish about it.

Nagi nodded, "Well, yeah."

"I…" Eiichi moved to sit properly on the bed, letting his legs bend over the end, He hunched forward and Nagi could see his vertebrae. "I'm an idiot. Take it houw you want. I never meant to insult your intelligence but my position is very delicate because I love you and you're…. well you're a child."

Nagi tensed.

"I feel like I want to tell you everything. I want to communicate every single whisper my heart makes but I'm not sure if you can understand. So I… I feel like all I can do is touch you. It's so stupid. If I can fuck you I can talk to you but why does that come so easily and this so hard?"

"Why can't you talk to me?"

Eiichi stared at Nagi like he just said the most stupid thing in the world and Nagi wanted nothing more than to hit him.

"Fine! If I'm so stupid then why even bother being in love with me?"

"Nagi that's not what I meant."

Nagi pouted and crossed his arms and Eiichi gave him an exasperated look as if that was exactly what he was talking about.

"Look. You're really mature Nagi. When I was your age my dad was already training me to be an idol but I didn't even get to debut until now because my attitude really sucked. You're mature and I recognize that."

"But?"

"But… You're also still 13 and there is a lot you don't even know. Like when you get older how will you even look back on this or us? Right now you're OK but when you're 23 how will you remember it then? I can't help but think about those things."

"When I'm 23?" Nagi paused. "Well, wouldn't we still be together?"

Eiichi laughed sadly, "That's the ideal scenario."

"Then…"

"I'm just afraid that this whole thing is some kind of joke, ok! Like you'll wake up and realize that this is dumb. Or find someone your own age or that you mistook your feelings for me and I don't even know if you're gay and—"

"Ok ok whatever," Nagi interrupted. "I get it. You don't trust me or my feelings."

"I don't even know your feelings. I mean I should know your feelings because I'm fucking a god damn child and—"

"Can you please at least stop calling me a child then? Because that's totally going to get us on the same page," Nagi rolled his eyes.

Talking to Eiichi wasn't helping anything.

"Never mind. I shouldn't have even asked," Nagi moved to lie back down.

He turned so he faced the wall but he didn't feel Eiichi lay back down as well. He turned his head and saw Eiichi still sitting as he was, head turned downwards and shoulders sagged.

"I've never been in love before," Eiichi's voice was like a whisper. "I hate feeling so vulnerable."

Nagi had long grown tired of the conversation. If Eiichi wanted to say he loved him but then at the same time completely close him out of a conversation then so be it. It was too late/early in the morning for that. But he had a feeling he knew what Eiichi needed ot hear.

"I like you," Nagi began. "I do. And I'm willing to be with you even though you don't even want to tell Kira. Most of the time you treat me very well and I look up to you. I always have. That's not going to change. If you choose not to acknowledge your feelings for me because you think I'm too you then… well, sorry?"

Nagi blushed a bit at his ineloquence at the end but he thought he got the point across. He really wasn't sure why he started to like Eiichi or why he felt it worth staying with him but he didn't want it to end. Not just yet.

But Eiichi didn't reply. He stood; grabbing his clothes and tugging them back on lazily. Nagi turned and watched.

"You tired?" Eiichi asked.

Nagi nodded and Eiichi came and kneeled over the bed kissing him just above the eye.

"Get some sleep."

Nagi watched as Eiichi gathered his bag and walked towards the door.

"I like you," Nagi called as Eiichi reached for the door.

"I know."

"Please don't stop loving me."

"I won't."

With that Eiichi slid the door open and exited out leaving Nagi once again alone. The room felt cold and Nagi reached down to the floor and picked up the monkey Eiichi had tossed aside and cuddled it to his chest. Nagi felt a prickling sensation in his eyes and cursed himself for the tears that were about to fall.

-END, Part 2-

AN: and yep welppppp hahahaha part 3 is Kira's. thanks for reading please review if you can. thank you


	3. Chapter 3

Irrationality, an Eiichi/Nagi fic

**_Irrationality (3/3)_**  
Author: cutiexnagi (tumblr), mikkimikka (ff)  
Rating: R  
Pairing: Eiichi x Nagi  
Summary: Kira learns about things he doesn't want to know

Part 3 – Kira

Kira was tired. He had schedules in the early morning plus an exam in the afternoon then recording with the others and then midnight variety filming after that. But he was also tired of Eiichi and whatever as going on with Nagi. He sensed the beginning of the shift and watched on the side as Nagi's crush exponentially grew. It wasn't rare for a young person to gain feelings for an older person. Even just plain run of the mill feelings of admirations could become misconstrued to an inexperienced heart. It was normal and age gap crushes were a healthy way to explore these emotions within you because they would never be reciprocated and the feelings rarely got so serious. It was a dry run romance, a test drive of the heart.

But Kira grew wary of it as time pressed on. Eichi, rather than keeping Nagi at the proper distance for a little boy in like, seemed to be encouraging it.

They held hands in public and private alike. He'd compliment him with a smile, not the arrogant one, but a soft one and no longer scolded the boy for things that used to before bother him. They had long whispered chats, faces close together as they sat thighs touching on a dressing room couch. It felt intimate and as if they believed themselves to be alone.

Kira was not comfortable with that closeness. He didn't think he could ever be. And perhaps that's why he was easily awakened that particular night.

He had found himself waking in the dead of night to the sound of muffled arguing flitting through the walls. He recognized the voices. One doesn't train with a group of people every day for years without being able to distinguish them in multiple ways: the tone of their laugh through a wall, the shape of their back from down the hall or the scent emanating from a forgotten scarf in a dressing room. Therefore, he knew exactly who it was.

It was strange, Kira thought as he rolled onto his back, that Eiichi was even still there. He should have left earlier in the night but there was no mistaken his voice. Nagi's voice too was strained and high. He was upset. Kira could tell despite not being in the room nor knowing what it was they spoke of.

Kira's instinct told him to get up and he did, sitting up at the same time as the sound of Nagi's door sliding open. He rubbed his eyes and sipped out of bed and into his slippers, crossing the room and opening the door in time to see Eiichi passing down the hall.

"Eiichi," Kira's voice was raspy from sleep.

Eiichi was surprised but his usual arrogant grin appeared.

"Sorry I woke you. I'm just slipping out now."

"What?"

"We watched a scary movie and the squirt was scared so I stayed a bit."

That made things a bit more awkward as it was a blatant lie. Nagi was never afraid of scary movie and they both knew it. Eiichi's eyes bore into Kira waiting to see if he'd be called out on it when the sound of a door sliding open caught both of their attentions. They turned, landing their eyes on Nagi's head which was peeking out into the hall. As soon as Nagi saw Kira however he darted back in, locking the door with an audible click.

Kira walked towards the door and tried it despite having heard it.

Now that alarmed him. He'd lived with Nagi for almost two years already and never had he known the boy to lock his door.

"Nagi," he called and when he felt Eiichi's hand on his shoulder as if to tell him to stop, he shrugged it off. "Open the door."

"Let him alone. He obviously wants it," Eiichi said.

Kira whirled quickly, surprising Eiichi and sending him to stand against the opposite wall. He merely glared accusatorily. Words were not said. Not one. But Kira could almost read the guilt in his leader's eyes. Or was it just Kira's conviction speaking. Was there no innocence before the guilty verdict?

"He never locks his door," Kira said levelly.

"Stop mothering him. He's 14 for fucks sake," Eiichi had the audacity to sound exasperated.

Kira's lips pursed into a thin line, his was mind ranting a mile a minute. Mothering him? Well obviously someone had to do it. Eiichi sure wasn't a great role model. The company spoiled him rotten as their "golden child", read: meal ticket. And the boy's real parents were absent as the family was originally not from Tokyo and didn't bother relocating and essentially throwing their only son to the wolves despite knowing the shady business their son was getting into. Kira didn't think himself a mother but damned if he wasn't going to at least be the one stable, decent adult in the kid's life.

"Kira, just let it go," Eiichi tried.

Kira's glare hardened, "Go home."

Both members refused to move but finally Eiichi sighed and walked back down the hall. Kira followed until they were at the front door. Kira stood watching as Eiichi fastened his boots in the genkan. Eiichi's body language betrayed how shaken Kira's waking up had made him. After stuffing both feet in his boots he looked down at Kira with a hard expression.

"You don't know anything so you can't judge," he said.

Kira was a bit surprised to hear Eiichi bring it, whatever it was, up himself but he just feigned disinterest.

"I don't know what you mean."

It was almost tangible the way the rift between them grew in that moment. Kira's pulse roared in his ears: it was beating so quickly.

"Good night, Eiichi," Kira said, eyes trained towards the door.

Eiichi muttered something that probably was much of the dame but Kira barely heard it. And then he was gone with a slam of the door. Kira and locked the door then walked back towards Nagi's room only to see the young boy waiting outside the door for him.

"Kira, are you mad at me?"

"Why would I be mad?"

"Because I'm still up at 2 on a week night?"

Kira's laugh came out like a huff, "I'm not."

He wasn't lying. He wasn't mad and he rarely was angry at Nagi. He hated that it was phrased that way.

"Just… let's go to sleep," Kira said, turning to head back to his own room.

He glanced over his shoulders to see Nagi nod.

"Ah, but I didn't shower yet so…"

"Go do that."

"OK!" Nagi beamed and turned to enter his room.

Nagi had grown taller in the past year after their debut and also more subdued. He was still stubborn but easy enough to handle at home. Still, it was obvious he had his share of secrets. Nagi had been arguing with Eiichi, but about what?

He waited until he heard the shower running before he left his room again. His feet moved on their own to their next destination but stopped abruptly at the door. Nagi's room: it had never been as daunting as it was at that moment. Kira had been in there countless times after all.

He slid the door open and flipped on the light. The window was wide open and carrying in a sweet, cool breeze. The room was in its natural state of chaotic order. The desk had papers piled high and the bed was a mess of crumpled sheets and strewn about stuffed animals. He ventured further in, picking up a stuffed monkey as he passed and throwing it on the bed. The monkey landed face up and smiled at him in a way that was disturbing so Kira flipped it onto its front before sitting down beside it.

He didn't know what he was looking for or if it could be considered snooping but there was a slight guilty conscious as his eyes swept the room. If walls could talk would they have a story to tell? Right now they betrayed nothing of the owner's secrets.

He let himself lean back a bit in the bed as he cast his eyes towards the ceiling and let his hands stretch out against the sheets. It was then that his friends brushed against the plastic of a wrapper.

Candy I bed? Kira frowned. Nagi had been told countless times not to eat in his room and especially not in bed.

His fingers hooked the piece of garbage and picked it up as he sat up again. He glanced down at it and his blood ran cold. His face turned to stone. His mouth could not function and his eyes refused to close. Even his nostrils ceased to flare as breathing came to a halt.

A condom wrapper, in Nagi's bed was a condom wrapper.

The world span as it returned to sudden motion. Kira's fingers trembled so violently he dropped the offending garbage back onto the bed.

Kira's heart was beating so rapidly in an attempt perhaps to allow his brain to process the information. First was denial, that no, it was indeed a candy wrapper and he didn't look hard enough. But another look derailed that hope. But then he thought that there was no way possible it was Nagi's and it was just there somehow and—

Kira's fingers clenched in his hair and he pulled on his head.

Thaat line of reasoning was not liable so he accepted it. Then came the shock as reality set in. He jumped off the bed feeling it to be some sort of demon and then came rage. Eiichi. That fucking Eiichi!

He should have never trusted him with the baby. Their baby! Nagi! How could anyone see him as anything other than the baby!? His teeth set in anger. How could he? Kira trusted Eiichi as an adult to not do these things. Eiichi wasn't supposed to be capable of these things.

Kira felt sick and betrayed. His stomach churned and then, just as quickly the angry emotion changed into overwhelming guilt. Kira collapsed against the bed as his knees buckled beneath him. How could he have left Nagi alone like that? How could he have trusted anyone else in the industry with Nagi but himself? Kira wanted to hit himself. How could he be so short sighted?

But the denial came again. Maybe it was in his mind. Sure the condom wrapper was there but the condom itself was… Kira glanced at the trash bin near the desk. No, he couldn't bring himself to check. He was being stupid and rash. Instead of denial, anger or guilt he resigned himself to finally confronting Nagi about it. It was what he had to do to finally get the story.

Kira took a deep breath then exhaled slowly tying to allow himself to fall into his normal familiar calm. His breathing leveled out and grew steady and he picked himself off the floor and chose to sit at the desk and chair, not on the bed. He tried to stifle the shudder at the thought of it and that's when Nagi came back.

The boy looked surprised to see him there but greeted him all the same.

"You should go back to sleep," Nagi said walking to dispose his dirty clothes into a hamper. He was wearing fluffy light grey and blue pajamas. He stopped in front of the hamper as he toweled off his still wet hair.

"I'm not sleepy," Kira replied.

Nagi glanced over and gave Kira a look that the older make had no time to read before he looked away again and continued drying his hair. After another few seconds the towel found itself draped over the edge of the basket.

There was an intense atmosphere and the air was stifled by tension despite the open windows. Nagi crossed the room and dropped down onto the bed. He fished his phone out from under the pillow, glanced at it and then placed it back under with a sigh.

"Well, I'm going to sleep so—"

"Nagi, are you OK?"

Nagi looked confused and Kira knew he didn't start that off right. He just had to say the right thing without sounding like he was attacking. Just one thing and Kira knew everything that he wanted to know would come flowing out.

He just had to tread carefully.

"You argued."

It was a statement. No pressure. Now he just had to wait and hope Nagi would speak. Nagi could hold grudges so he wouldn't be surprised if the boy was still stewing over it. Nagi leaned back on the bed and Kira fought hard to not think about what the bout might have done on it. Nagi's brows furrowed as he thought and his lips poked out into his characteristic pout.

""He's just being jealous," Nagi finally said.

Kira was surprised. He didn't know what he expected but that wasn't it.

"He's jealous of you t be specific. He thinks we're too close or that I act weird whenever he mentions you. It's not even like that! We live together of course we'd be close. And yeah I like you but I don't like you like I do him and—"

Nagi clamped his mouth shut, fear showing in those large grey eyes. His mouth had run more than he intended. It was obvious.

"You like Eiichi," Kira's reply was a statement, not a question.

"Just forget I said anything," Nagi replied, sitting up again.

"Why?"

"Because it's stupid kid stuff."

It didn't sound like kid stuff to Kira and he knew that Nagi one, never referred to his own business as "kid stuff" and Eiichi didn't get involved in "kids stuff". Good thing Nagi had a mouth that would not stop.

"Anyway it's over now," Nagi said.

"Over?"

"The fight," Naig clarified. "At least for now. He'll bring it up again another day. For someone as arrogant as him you'd think he'd be a bit less insecure."

Ok, now Kira felt they were getting somewhere.

"It's like whatever, I chose him. If I didn't want to be with him I wouldn't bother at all with all the bullshit attached but I do. He won't get it through his head. No offense but I like you and all, but no, that's like dating a family member or something."

Dating. So Eiichi and Nagi were dating.

"So yeah, I guess you know now. It was supposed to be a secret. It's a miracle I kept my mouth shut this long."

"This long?"

"It'll be a year next month."

A year? One whole entire year slipped under Kira's radar. But how?

"You're taking this all pretty well," Nagi pointed out.

Kira supposed he was. After all he already had his brief meltdown. Plus, this was all feeling like an out of body experience and as soon as he rejoined his body he'd start screaming.

"I found the condom wrapper in your bed."

To the point. Kira thought that should explain his ability to remain pretty damn calm. After all, at least now he had the consolation, however slight, that Eiichi was at least dating the boy not just doing him. Kira's face felt a bit red.

However, Nagi's face was bright, ripe, about to fall off the vine, tomato red.

"Kira!" he protested.

But Kira didn't see the reason to mince words. He found what he did and pointed to wear the wrapper still lay. When Nagi saw it Kira swore the boy looked like he could die right there on the spot.

"I swear! I swear this is not how I wanted you to find out," Nagi said turning back to Kira with wet eyes.

It wasn't how Kira wanted to find out either. In fact, he didn't expect to have "the talk" with the boy for another year or two because of their busy schedules and lack of same age friends.

"I wanted to tell you but Eiichi said it wouldn't be accepted."

Eiichi was right.

"And oh my god, NO! This cannot be happening!"

But it was.

"I just, I am so sorry."

Now that got Kira's curiosity.

"Why?"

"Aren't you mad/"

Kira shook his head, "Disappointed. Worried. Not mad."

"Why would you be disappointed or even worried? We both know Eiichi."

"Just a kid."

"I'm not just a kid!" Nagi snapped. "I haven't been just a kid for a long time. Not since I signed my contract with Raging Entertainment. I am dating Eiichi and have been able t handle a mutual relationship for a year. Get it through your head. You are part of the problem."

Kira didn't think that accusation was fair.

Nagi continued on, "You know why I like Eiichi so much? Because he doesn't just treat me like a baby. He sees me as an equal, something I've been trying to get you to see for even longer. And fuck, maybe if you'd have recognized it earlier I wouldn't even be with Eiichi in the first place.

Kira couldn't bring himself to reprimand Nagi's language as he was being pelted by words.

"I think on some level he knows that," Nagi sighed, voice sagging as his demeanor changed into a sadder one. "That's why he's so insecure sometimes about you. But I wouldn't leave him like that. Not anymore."

So there was a time when…

"You liked me?" Kira's voice shook.

Nagi shrugged, "I'm not even sure. I didn't even like Eiichi at first I just… well— It's stupid but I just… you're my best friend Kira! My best friend in the whole entire world but in you world I mean nothing, right? I'm just that little kid you're forced to live and work with. You and Eiichi have a ton of friends outside of our life as HEAVENS. You have other idols and old school mates but you and Eiichi are all I have! I act like it's no big deal or that I don't care but at school everyone fucking hates me. I don't know anyone my age and everyone I do know treats me like I'm five. I'm tired of it.

When Eiichi and I got together you were always picking your university friends over me! You never wanted to be with me just to hang out. But Eiichi, he told me he liked me and I was happy, OK! He actually likes me and sees me for me."

Kira's heart hurt hearing those words. So it was his fault this happened? Because he didn't value Nagi as much as he should have the boy was able to be taken advantage of. Kira could never forgive himself and he looked at the other with the most open and honest eyes.

"Nagi, I'm so sorry. Because of me," Kira wasn't a talker but it had the said. "You were taken advantage of."

The rage that clouded Nagi's eyes were penetrating and fierce.

"I was not taken advantage of! Please stop looking at me like some fucking kid. Are you even listening to me?"

How could Kira listen when the evidence was right before him? Nagi was lonely and vulnerable and Eiichi took advantage of that. And suddenly Nagi was crying. Not loudly, but big crystal tears rolled swiftly down his red cheeks.

"How dare you just assume the worse about our relationship? Eiichi… Eiichi means so much to me. You're my best friend but Eiichi is my world. I love him. I trusted you to understand my feelings but in the end Eiichi was right and that fucking kills me."

"Language."

"Can we just for now not talk like I'm five? Who cares about my language right now when you just found out that I've been fucking Eiichi all over our apartment for the past year?"

Point taken.

"Please no diversion right now. You brought up the subject by coming into my room."

Kira didn't want to deal though. The reality was not something he'd prepared for. All this time he just thought Nagi had a crush not that they'd been dating. How could Kira even approve?

Nagi claimed he loved Eiichi but with that reasoning it could have been anyone. Nagi craved attention and Eiichi supplied it. That was a dangerous situation and no matter how Kira tried to slice it Nagi was being taken advantage of. Nagi thought it was love but Kira decided it was not.

Nagi wiped at his eyes with the sleeve of his shit and he looked just like that 11 year old boy Kira had met years ago. Nagi was still Nagi and would always be Nagi. Kira got up from his chair, sat beside Nagi on the bed and pulled him to his chest allowing him to cry there but Nagi pulled away.

"Just… stop," Nagi said. "Just… no."

Kira was confused but let go. Nagi picked up the condom wrapper and stood up to throw it into the garbage pail before coming back and sitting in the same spot.

Sitting silently beside Nagi wasn't so bad. It was comfortable to have him even in that strange moment. Kira was regretful though that he pushed Nagi to that point though. Perhaps if he'd been a bit friendlier and less brotherly none of this would have happened. Nagi wouldn't have had that emotional void to fill. Besides, he was fourteen now, not five. Sure it wasn't an adult, but it certainly wasn't a baby.

Kira wasn't sure what would happen or what he should do next. His mind ceased to know how to imagine the future.

"You mean a lot to me too," he finally said.

Nagi laughed tiredly thought nothing was funny.

"Let's go to bed," Nagi said.

Kira wanted to protest because he at least hoped to figure out what to do and how to confront Eiichi. He wasn't going to lay back and let this keep happening at any rate, but he also didn't want to hurt the group or estrange the other two. It was the opposite of his goal. He only wanted hat was best for Nagi.

Kira stood and as he returned to his own room he already knew he wouldn't be able to sleep. It was 3am and he had to resign himself to being awake for the rest of the day. But at least that gave him time to mull over the situation. There was nothing sure though but this: from that day forward the relationships within HEAVENS were to be forever change.

-END-

AN - Hey! It's finished! mannn 1st chapter was about Eiichi, Nagi and Kira! All of their thoughts on the same situation (though at diff times) and all of them are different. I understand this pairing is a bit... lol seems nobody is reading this. Well anyway I plan to write more HEAVENS int he future so THERE! Take that! Bye and for real though, thanks everyone who actually did read this ^^


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